A flibbertigibbet, a willow the wisp, a clown . . .
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her,
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/maria-the-nuns-lyrics-e-sound-of-music.html ]
She could have been a Maria von Trapp, but she couldn’t sing worth anything. But she had shades of Maria. She was always late for everything. Rules were never enough to define her behavior. She was a clown. It gave her so much delight to make people laugh. Like Maria, she would not make a very good nun. Unlike Maria, she could stay and listen, but was wont to do whatever she wanted regardless of what you say. Somehow, being contrary gave her pleasure. If she were a fish, she would be a spawning salmon, swimming upstream.
Opposites
The first few times I met her, I made up my mind to stay clear of her. She was glamorous, beautiful, moved about like a model, dressed and accessorized like one. On the other hand, no one can ever accuse me of being as attractive as she was. Not only did we look, move and behave so unlike each other, she represented the young; I represented the conservative, traditional values of the old. Until a few years ago, I didn’t know that she, too, decided, to stay clear of me; in her words, a goody two shoes.
We were legal assistants at the District Attorney’s Office, preparing and processing documents for criminal prosecution. I was totally amazed at how she worked. I kept a very clean desk, and everyone knew that my file folders and desk drawers were so organized. There was hardly ever a stray piece of paper on my desk. My pencils, post-its, paper clips, stapler, etc. were always where they were supposed to be. I was methodical and deliberate. She, on the other hand, had a desk that always looked like a tornado had just blown through it and deposited scraps of paper from everywhere. How she ever found the warrants, briefs or complaints she had to prepare or have prepared was a constant puzzle to all of us. Whenever we received our assignments for the day, most of us would immediately get started. Computer keys would be clicking away and papers would be shuffled, typed complaints would be stapled and correctly labeled. While the rest of us would be engaged with our business so furiously, she would stroll about in our work area and out to the hallways, like someone taking a promenade in the moonlight. But, she always got her work done on time and seemingly without effort. This drove our supervisors crazy. She wasn’t doing her work as they prescribed!
A Moonbeam?
She knew so many people in the 7-storey Hall of Justice that housed the Police Department, the County jail, the District Attorney’s Office, the Sheriff’s Department, Courtrooms, and the City Coroner’s. A five-minute walk with her through the hallways can easily turn into 20. She knew and was friends with the judges, the custodians, the secretaries, lawyers, police officers, etc. If she had run for political office, she probably would have won. But she was a contrary sort. Although a San Franciscan, she once told me that if she was watching football and the Niners were playing, she would cheer for whoever they were playing against, just to annoy the San Franciscans in the room. When she came to see us in our gated community, she wouldn’t bother to punch the entry code. Instead, she would wait for someone coming out, and then drive her car in through the “out” lane. She would send me emails in phone text knowing full well that I couldn’t read it and plain hated it.
God's Appointment
But God decided that she needed me and I needed her. He put us together working as Shop Stewards for our Labor Union. As we fought for issues that concerned our fellow employees, we developed a friendship that lasted over 30 years. She moved into my life and my family’s, watching and supporting me raise my children, marry them off, having grandchildren, changing jobs and retirement. I grew into her life watching her get married, lose her father, then her mother, her divorce, early retirement and through the many illnesses and legal troubles she navigated.
She started coming to my church and one day decided to accept Jesus Christ as her personal Saviour, to my great surprise. She would study the Bible with us. She developed friendships in the church. She found her niche and filled a modern “Dorcas” type ministry. She would organize parties for birthdays, anniversaries, or just for anything that she felt needed special celebration. She loved people and was great at making them feel significant. She had a driving ministry. She would drive for people who didn’t, taking them to doctor’s appointments, shopping trips, excursions to San Diego or to special services at other churches. She quietly found people who couldn’t return the good she did for them. She regularly bought and took groceries to a fellow employee who was having medical and financial troubles even when she, herself, was in dire financial straits. She helped elderly friends who could no longer do their personal banking and legal paperwork, spending hours and days with them. When my husband resigned from his pastoral ministry almost 20 years ago, she faithfully continued to ask us to pray for anyone who needed prayers. Long after we’ve left the church, she decided that we needed a Bible Study together, so she would come to our home every Friday and she and I would have a study and prayer together. She’d come for dinner with us and stay for the night.
My friend had a presence that could not be ignored. She had a big heart and a great concern for people. Sometimes they exasperated her, but most of the time she exasperated them with her contrary ways. But there never ever could be a question as to her love for them. Her niece, Shannon Caimol writes:
See, she loved being around people, especially her family and friends. She would
do anything for us. She often went out of her way just to make sure that we were
okay and that we had everything we needed. And she always gave us money, which
was cool. With her help, we never wanted for anything. She was so generous, and
not just with material wealth, but also with her time and spirit. This was a person
who dedicated her entire life to helping others. I could always count on her to be
there for me when I needed her. And even when I thought I didn’t, she was still
there anyway.
She always gave her best, and although she wasn’t perfect, she loved us more than
we could ever imagine. We used to get into arguments all the time and anyone that
knows her, knows she had a bit of a temper. She was opinionated and feisty to say
the least, but that was a part of who she was and why we loved her. She always
spoke her mind and was unapologetically, herself. I didn’t always agree with her
ideals but I admired her courage and conviction. She was one of the people who
challenged us the most, but we could never doubt the fact that she loved us fiercely.
I want you all to truly honor her memory. Not just the good times but also the times
when she drove you nuts. Like the way she sent text messages that were barely
readable and the way she always talked about her favorite TV shows, like “Dancing
with the Stars.” I'm gonna miss those conversations. I'm gonna miss the hilarious.
I'm gonna miss the way she popped up unexpectedly at our houses and complained
about all of our pets. I'm gonna miss everything about her. She was truly the heart
of our family.
This was the story my friend, Corrah Caimol, wrote with her life. Authentic. She was her own person. There was so much she taught me. On Friday, June 28, 2013 at 9:30 am, she was on the phone with a mutual friend. At about noontime, she was found slumped at the wheel of her brother’s truck, unconscious. She was taken by helicopter to the closest hospital. She stayed in a coma. “Heatstroke,” the attending physician pronounced. On Sunday, June 30th, she “waltzed” her way to the presence of Jesus, and in Shannon’s words, “possibly, joked and carried on with some cute angels on the way.”
. . .
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
. . .
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
From Carmen Gaerlan: Will remember d happy moments we shared with d gang!!! Dining out, get-together activities in church as well as surprised parties, shopping and ur kulitan blues w/lady G!! And lastly ur text messages which sometimes cud hardly read!!! Love you so much!!!
From Emmie Alcantara: : You are a wonderful friend, never to be forgotten.
